Travel, Idealism and Perspective

Every day I battle with a desire to simply observe life, or to experience it.

I am torn between wanting to be an impassionate spectator -- an audience member enjoying the drama that is life -- and wanting to be a player in that drama. This duality creates a problem for me as a journalist.

On one hand, I don't mind chronicling the struggles and triumphs of other people. On the other, I want to join in the fights, lick my wounds or savor a victory.

For years, I've held on to the idea that to be a good journalist I must be removed, I must be objective in relation to the subjects I am covering. I still think striving for objectivity is paramount to being a trustworthy journalist, but I realize that I don't always have to be a journalist.

Traveling overseas and speaking with so many professionals, like the PR people at NATO, who were at one time journalists, has given me a broader idea of what my life can be.

The eight-hour flight to Paris afforded me an opportunity to talk candidly with our instructor Rose. Here is an excerpt from my journal that evening:

"Talking with Rose opened me to some revelations tonight. Rose told me about how Hemingway and Twain both worked as journalists early in their careers. Perhaps I am on a similar path, or at least maybe I am attracted to similar things as those great men. I hope I keep pushing myself to write better and faster. I hope I keep seeking out new experiences."

It's a bit lofty, I know. But anticipating a trip to places like Paris and Amsterdam can really bring out the idealist in a person.

After I spent one evening covering a protest in Paris, it dawned on me that, even as a journalist, I am still participating in life. By telling other people's stories I am giving structure, background and sometimes even meaning to the actions of others.

If there is one overarching lesson I learned from this trip, it is this: Whether I am a career journalist, a teacher or a couch potato, I am going to be part of the great story of humanity, but I am free to choose my role.